Bottomline:You have to employ a lot of tact in counseling your ‘future hopes’ so that whatever logic you are trying to bring home sticks,that they understand you perfectly but without feeling pressured or coerced
Being a toddler wasn’t just some usual and necessary phase towards ultimate developmental platform of a larger rigorous adult life. It has always been a learning process. Right from the day I learnt to accurately articulate the two closest words in my entire life… ‘Mama’ and ‘baba.’
Convincingly, it is my paps who got the better part of my attention with the two of us sharing some profound cute moments as father and son.
I’ve always loved the guy’s character, resilience, patience,straightforwardness and huge charisma. Thus I decided that before I leave this untimely world, I would sure enough ensure my mark is left and felt. Huge enough for an eagle to spot from an ascending overview… That before I get consumed with every passing minutiae, I have to commence something that no other person has dared,done or orchestrate it in a manner second to none.
Being called father is quite different from the famous dad, which is also quite different to a much more closer – to – heart ‘daddy’ Here, I’d summarily take you through what you need to do, and what you need not do if at all you are desirous to get referred to as ‘daddy’ by your kids.
Stereotyping is much common in Africa. Still, it comes out openly that most African communities allude the daughter to be dad’s and the sons to bond closely with their mothers. Notwithstanding, I am proof amid many others that one could possibly be a daddy’s boy. Very possible. Very realistic and from an up – close point of view.
“Take as much Alvaro bottles as you notice me counting the Tuskers baby.” This is my dad referring to the much younger me.
We are at Makuti club, Shanzu area watching some late night football match. Almost a decade ago,he couldn’t find the perfect cheerleader to accompany him as his Chelsea FC battled it out for 3 points in the lesser competitive English Premier League then,big money spending hadn’t diluted thegame.
At exactly 10 years of age, Chelsea it is. I become one among the staunchest supporters of the Blues, thanks to my father.
Modern day fathers have a double role to play. As you work hard, through hook and crook to ensure your kids’ moral code of conduct is upheld, so should you fight to maintain a smooth and frictionless relationship with your children.
Daddys are those who talk out an issue with their children amicably with gross sensitivity. You cannot continue to yell at a young adult on the threshold of manhood the same way you scolded them 6-8 years or so ago. You have to employ a lot of tact in counseling your ‘future hopes’ so that whatever logic you are trying to bring home sticks,that they understand you perfectly but without feeling pressured or coerced.
Gifts are good at mending broken relationships. They too have the power to heal downtrodden souls. It is surety that rewards are a perfect motivator thus Abraham Maslow should concur with me on this one. Wherever he is.
Children are motivated by sweet little nothings. Small things done in a big, flashy way send children in some wild mood of ecstasy, zeal and anticipation. A good daddy makes sure the rewards are unleashed whenever children record successes in different scopes and spheres of life. And oh! The reward should not only be guaranteed but also forthcoming.
Follow closely on your children’s academics. It is cringe to note that most parents assume their kids school lives. Such could be very jeopardizing as it concerns your son’s or daughter’s future career development paths.
I quite fondly remember my old man. In his forties, he is busy tracking each and every meagre step of my academic progress. Each and every C.A.T mark and exam result is vital according to him.
The guy is busy nosing inside school peripheries while I’m still in primary. As early as that. He doesn’t miss out in paying me a visit twice a week during his less tighter work schedules. He is inside the administration block and I am swiftly ushered down by a soft spoken lady (secretary). Papa takes no time in demanding that my performance file be fallen atop the well furnished mahogany table as we sit side by side with the headteacher, seriously evaluating and assessing my performance.
This was dad. This is dad, I believe this is how the guy shall always be. Ever concerned, ever disturbed with what life I am going to live when he is gone. For if a father fails to prepare his kids for his own death, then he has failed as a father.
Investments are vital in securing a solid life for you and your loved ones. Albeit this, it is more advantageous when you view your priority investment as a father to be your children’s education.
Many at times the African nature of our parents deny we young persons the most fundamental right – education. Your child will hate you more, spitefully detest you should they learn you opted not to take them to school, not because you weren’t capable of doing such, but because you chose to refuse. Because you chose to spend the cash elsewhere, with women of all kinds of archaic ways and uncouth, unorthodox mannerisms. Because you chose to find time swallowing copious amounts of alcoholic beverages and none to stumble upon the word ‘school fees.’
Of worth it is to learn how to skillfully communicate and relate with your adolescent kids. Science and Biology have well connived to teach us of young adults’ sensitive nature. As a father, you should try out other viable ways of correcting your much loved children without hurting and possibly overstepping on their emotional matrix. These are individuals who are still growing and very sensitive to subjective correction. Peer pressure awkwardly barricades the aforementioned persons’ judgmental and evaluative processes.
Adolescents tend to act out of euphoria, dangerously sidelining their own personal drive, steadfastness and assertiveness. Their judgment is in most instances shoddy, vague and irrational. A daddy understands all these.
How you relate with your partner also comes in handy. The boy child from an African perspective is irked and emotionally traumatized when his mother is being ill treated. It becomes worse when the mum is victim to domestic violence.
Trust me on this; your son shall forever hate you for mistreating her mother by converting her into a punching bag. Animosity shall surely grow. Hate and spite amid detest shall without doubt grow high enough to barricade a bonded affection they held towards you – their father.
A lot still has to be considered. Being a dad means that you have to worry for the rest of your ill – perturbed or smooth prosperous life. You worry whenever the clock ticks 9:00 PM and your virile young boys are still out watching some mouth watering clash pitting Arsenal against Chelsea, a premiering film at Cinemax, or worst still satisfying their manhood desires inside Lollipop GoGo, Club Lambada, The place, The Bliss, mentioning only but just a few.
Let me help you dwindle your colic bouts of anxiety and uncertainty…
It starts from when he or she is toddler. The kid will always walk away from you as a parent. That is exactly how God planned it to be. Growing up, the kid is gradually moving away from your sight, away from your presence, far apart from your control and momentarily lesser of your influence. Worry not, for this is a long journey towards your son or daughter being independent, self reliant and sophisticated in as far as life counts.